It can be very challenging to altogether stop compulsive sexual behavior or addiction. While some individuals are able to curb their behavior, they don’t ever feel that they can stop it completely. Even when the individual knows, intellectually, that the choices they are making are harmful and wrong, they find it hard to quit the destructive behavior. But why is it that individuals find it so difficult to stop acting out sexually?
Let Go of the Inner Sex Addict
For individuals who are addicted to sex, it almost becomes a security blanket. Many individuals who struggle with a sex addiction look at their behavior as a sort of good versus evil battle. Often they fail to consider that the acting out on their part might stem from some aspect of themselves that they actually rely on. It is important to learn the ways sex or porn or related activities work for the individual. Only then can the individual start coping with their issues.
Therefore, the individual must not overlook the emotional relationship they have with sex or porn. One way to consider it is to look at the addiction as a friend and not an enemy. A friend that helps the individual to feel better and brings them comfort.
Perhaps the behavior started as fantasy, before progressing to frequent or severe stages. Perhaps the individual relies on sex when they were lonely or angry to soothe themselves. They know that the behavior works to make them feel better, at least temporarily, and so they continue doing it. They continue relying on the ‘friend’. But this ‘friend’ doesn’t have their best interests in mind.
Changing the Relationship
Breaking up is hard to do. Especially when it is with something inside one’s own self. If the individual truly finds it impossible to break up with their inner addict, how about changing the nature of the relationship instead? How can the individual do that? Here are some questions to ask oneself:
How long has the addict been around? At what age did the individual start acting out?
How does the addict help? What does the individual get out of acting out sexually?
What would it be like to stop? Can the individual imagine a life without acting out?
Answering these questions and understanding the underlying reasons for the compulsive sexual behavior is the first and most important step to actually change the behavior. Examining the reasons why the individual acts out sexually, and the relationship they have with their sexual behavior will tell them why they rely on it, and how to change or end it.
Blueprints provides space for people to reconnect with the self and disconnect from sexual addiction. Give us as call if you are seeking help in quitting an addiction that has a stronghold in your life.